I'm well aware of the futility of many New Year's resolutions and the school of thought which says you should be making changes and resolutions throughout the year. And I still find myself making them year after year. The close of one year and the beginning of a new one along with the winter solstice … Continue reading Resolutions or No Resolutions?
Besides a nine year gap, I’ve journaled from the age of ten to my current forty-seven. I had reasons for not doing it. During those years, I stopped because I was in relationship where I didn’t trust my writing would be sacrosanct. I doubted it would be for my eyes alone. Unfortunately this gap also … Continue reading Reasons Not to Journal
We just made it through quite possibly the most stressful Thanksgiving ever! No matter how you celebrated, or didn't celebrate - can we all agree this year was different? Whether you were able to gather with friends or family or stayed isolated, the circumstances of the pandemic lent a new layer of considerations to the … Continue reading Post- Holiday Hangover
We as a society in general struggle with the topic of grief. People are fearful. Those who are grieving are afraid they will drive others away with their own grief, and those who want to be supportive are afraid they will say the wrong thing to those who are grieving. But telling your story is important. … Continue reading Telling Your Story
I bought my first journal in the fifth grade. It sported a red cloth cover with white hearts on it. The inside held the deep ponderings of a pre-teen, oh and a lot about boys too ;). Journaling was my safe space to process my day, my struggles, and my emotions. Close to forty years … Continue reading Journaling and Journal Prompts
The holidays are a tough season for many who've lost a loved one. And not just the first year, or the second. I still have my moments close to twenty years later. What's different for me is that I'm a seasoned pro. I know by now what works for me and what doesn't. Many of … Continue reading Holding Space During the Holidays
Talking to my adult stepchildren I made a jarring discovery. As children they thought I was lazy, languishing on the couch reading all day. It never dawned on their pre-teen brains the house was nearly always clean, they had well balanced and varied dinners, and clean clothes stacked for them to place in their dressers … Continue reading Permission Slip for “Lazy”
Grief vs. joy. Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I catch myself seeing grief and joy as an either or proposition. But it doesn’t have to be. Emotions aren’t linear. It isn’t like you graduate from grief to joy. They can be in the same container together. And when Grief Island isn’t a place of … Continue reading Grief Island – Stay as Long as You Need
I often field messages from people who feel helpless as they watch a loved one bear a devastating loss. They search for tangible ways to help, or resources to give. Unfortunately, grief is hard work only the grieving can do. However creating partnership alongside in the grief - holding space, a place of loving non-judgment … Continue reading Partnership in Grief
Today I’m choosing to lean into the tension and anxiety of desiring a particular outcome in a situation I’d so love to control and dictate. It’s the same struggle and a different day. I’ve found over and over again that I think if I have things go my way, just this one last time, I’ll … Continue reading Leaning into the Tension
When someone significant in your life is no longer here to celebrate the holidays, it’s tempting to shove thoughts and preparations surrounding celebrations to the back, with perhaps the unspoken hope they’ll quietly slip away without your attention. Unfortunately, whether or not you ignore the holiday festivities, the feelings remain. Every year on my deceased … Continue reading Create a Seat for Memories, Feelings, and Honoring
You got through and maybe even enjoyed Halloween this past weekend. Yay! And in case you missed it, we also have an election coming up tomorrow. Oh and a pandemic that's changed how we do life. So much going on that's stirring up so much in ourselves and friction in families, friends, communities, and the … Continue reading What’s Your Why?
Last time I wrote about celebrating the holidays – how they can be a stressful time for everyone while acknowledging the added difficulty for bereaved parents in particular. Today I want to delve into some of the whys this season (and frankly any celebration) can be so utterly wrought with conflicting emotions for parents who’ve … Continue reading The Celebration Laundry List
Holy cow is it that time again already?!? You know how I know it is? I saw a Hallmark Christmas movie commercial ;). Then I got invited to a pumpkin carving party. So, yes it is indeed time to navigate through the sometimes complicated holiday season. No matter who you talk to, holidays appear to … Continue reading Holiday Season – Is it a Trick or a Treat?
When it clicked with me that tending to my state of being was the most important job I have, it felt so freeing. We live in a culture where doing is more valued than being. And yet the state of our being directly dictates our doing. Think about it, when you’re in a good mood … Continue reading Rainbow State of Being
I’m baack! It’s been awhile since writing in this arena. Over the last fourteen months I’ve dipped my toes in a variety of community efforts – tracking and reporting on local government activity, helping a local charter school find its way through getting up and running, and navigating ‘Ohana Oasis through COVID-19. This year was … Continue reading It’s a New Day at Ohana Oasis