What if I’m Not Always “Fearless” and “Bad ass”?

Aloha,
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day and saw an article that promised to outline 15 things all badass, fearless and alpha women did differently.  Just reading the title grated on me and annoyed me.

It seems like there’s this constant pressure for women to be all those things. And if you aren’t you are in some way lacking.  Now I get it, for eons women were oppressed and constantly expected to stay in a very particular and often meek box.  I hope it’s pretty obvious that I live an empowered and badass life taking advantage of all the strides the women before me made.

For me part of claiming that freedom so many women before me fought for includes the freedom to not always be badass, or fearless, or even the “alpha woman”.  When did we as women decide we have to be that way to be the best?  No, we don’t say it, but clearly the implication is there…if you want to be one the “cool” women, set apart from the rest, you should make sure you’re all these things.

YES!! There are absolutely times I am fearless by nature, others where I make a quite conscious decision to be fearless, but there are also others where I know all I can and want to do is acknowledge my fear and love myself in the midst of having it.  There are also times I catch myself being more alpha than I intended, times I push myself to fill an alpha role, and times I intentionally decide to step back and follow.  And I am completely comfortable and proud of carrying each of these roles.

I guess my point is this…we don’t always have to be tough, fearless, etc…it’s also okay to be vulnerable, soft, and dare I say it, allow others to take the lead. True freedom and women empowerment comes in being able to be authentic which usually means balanced, versatile, and multi faceted in how approach our lives and even in how we interact with others.
Peace and aloha,
Heidi
P.S. I DO see the irony that this quote uses the word “man” in reference to the human experience 😉

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