We’ve all experienced some pretty incredible, heartbreaking pain. We’ve gone through heavy stuff. And hopefully are coming out of it stronger, wiser, and more whole hearted. Inevitably when going through tough times we ask, “Why me?” “Why did this happen?” “Did I really deserve yet another burden?” “Why can’t I catch a break?”…the list goes on.
My answer to myself for a very long time was basically this. It is through these trials and burdens that I’ve grown and learned and become who I am today. These were lessons I needed, I’m a better person because of these things. I’ve even secretly looked down on those who have had it “easy” thinking to myself, they don’t have the strength and the character I do because they haven’t had to develop it.
I call bullshit. Yes, it’s absolutely true I’ve grown, learned, become a better person etc. But it isn’t because of the trial it’s because of the choice I made in how to respond to the trial. And just because some people haven’t had to make those choices (that you know and see…chances are pretty good they have their own demons you just don’t see) doesn’t mean they aren’t growing, learning, and becoming a better person either.
So what’s the point in this? Instead of holding the trial, burden, and tough stuff as the catalyst for good in your life give the choice you make to grow from it the props it’s due. And now, know that you can also choose to grow, learn and become a better person from the good in your life just as much from the pain.
Honor yourself for the choices you’ve made, not the trials and burdens for pushing to make the choice.