Showing Up and Holding Space

The Haze of the first couple of years after loss is tough. Having just one or two people showing up and holding space consistently can be the difference between someone finding the strength to face grief head on or simply surviving day to day.

For those of you supporting the grieving, this means setting aside your ego, because chances are good you will step in it and say something wrong at least once. But trying and saying something is better than pretending the loss isn’t there.

And rest assured, intention matters, A LOT!

What does showing up look like?

  • Walk alongside with unconditional support and without judgment
  • Do not try to fix or impact outcomes
  • Listen to your loved one, whether they are laughing or crying. They need to feel a wide range of emotions and feel safe experiencing them all
  • Let them talk about their deceased loved one the same way you talk about those who are still alive. He/she is still just as real in their life

Grief is not easy for anyone, but being a kind, thoughtful friend WILL always be remembered. And please forgive your grieving person for the times when they seem not to care, or come across as ungrateful or rude. Their minds and hearts are overwhelmed. You ARE appreciated.

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This is the tenth installment in a series of articles based on, “Good Grief – Embracing Life and Giving Good Support” a talk I gave on May 22, 2019. You can get caught up by starting with the introductory article here.

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