What Defines Me?

Okay, here is where I start to get excited about grief. Yes, I said excited :). Over the last two weeks I’ve written about the first couple years after loss, the time I call The Haze and then a transition time which comes from a Light bulb Moment(s) and Sitting with Grief. Fully living in these times, marinating in them is essential, and by doing that hard work there can be a payoff.

From the transitional stage there comes a moment or moments when, whether you realize it or not you’re making a decision. It can be made in one big ‘aha’ or small decisions peppered throughout your life that build into a large choice. But you are making one big decision…

That decision is Does my Loss Define Me?

And if it doesn’t define me:

  • Who am I now?
  • What does define me?
  • How can I be me and still honor loss?
  • How can I be empowered to be happy and free not in spite of, but because of my loss?

These are all big and significant questions that are rarely answered in a moment. Just as living through The Haze and Sitting with Grief took time and work, discovering what DOES define you does too. The inspiring thing is, through mulling over and playing with these concepts you are empowering yourself.  You are finding ways to incorporate your life altering loss into your present and future life in way that honors your loss and propels you into happiness, freedom, and purpose.

By creating space in your soul for something besides loss, you now have room to be in the present moment, which is the best place to be.

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This is the fourteenth installment in a series of articles based on, “Good Grief – Embracing Life and Giving Good Support” a talk I gave on May 22, 2019. You can get caught up by starting with the introductory article here.

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