Here you sit in the present moment in touch with your reality, and it’s not exactly what you really want or what feels good…. So what now? Start dreaming of your future! That can be an extremely scary thing to do when you’ve already lost so much. There are no guarantees the future won’t also hold loss and heart ache. But, there is also the chance it can hold amazing and wonderful experiences. The things you’ve gone through have added depth, texture, and grit to your life.
And I get it. To say “Start dreaming!” sounds like I’m encouraging the opposite of being in the now. But it’s a different kind of dreaming than daydreaming. It’s purposeful, mindful, and grounded in the present.
Here’s what I mean. Back on that patio I felt restless, jealous, and frustrated. Instead of side stepping the icky feeling and defaulting to the well-worn path of fantasizing about some mythical unattainable future, I got down to details and motivations.
What future was I dreaming up that I was so jealous of? Why did I feel restless and frustrated? And I didn’t stop with one simple answer. I dug deep, then deeper again. I asked myself clarifying questions within the context of my present reality to come to my personal actual vision for what I wanted from my future. I kept bringing the dreams and ideas of the future back into the lens of the present. I’d plunk a particular portion I dreamed up into my actual life. If there was this one change (no matter how large or small) how would it fit? Would it really create the shift in my life I was looking for? If it would, I put it in the basket “To Be Explored Further”, if when put into practical life it no longer seemed valuable I let it go, knowing it no longer needed my energy or attention.
By being grounded in the present and brutally honest, you empower yourself. You see you no longer need to avoid knowing how you feel, but rather you begin understanding where you want to make changes and where you want more of the same.
Can you set aside even ten or fifteen minutes to ask yourself the important questions? Use your aliveness and awareness in your present reality to be a powerful force in creating an even more fulfilling and fun future.