When it clicked with me that tending to my state of being was the most important job I have, it felt so freeing. We live in a culture where doing is more valued than being. And yet the state of our being directly dictates our doing. Think about it, when you’re in a good mood even the mundane tasks in a day feel easier. Your interactions with people are lighter – filled with more laughter, love, and grace.
I know, I know, I’m no longer in the place of feeling the heavy load of grief on the daily. In fact, most days are pretty amazing – full of love, support, and beauty. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have situations that trigger heavy feelings either completely brought on by a present circumstance or tapping into an old pattern and story. What I know and witness personally time and time again, is when I recognize my state of being and make a conscious decision to come from a place that feels good, my outlook and everything else responds in kind. In fact, I’ve experienced it enough that I’ve made tending to my state of being my top priority. I know it lays the foundation for everything else.
Managing Your State of Being in the Midst of Grief
Even in the midst of challenges, sadness, and grief I’ve found this to be true. And it’s not about ignoring the ‘heavier’ feelings. For me it was about observing the darker pieces of my grief, the things like guilt and anger then choosing to deal with those head on in times I set aside just for that purpose. Once those pieces of me knew I’d seen, acknowledged, and would allow them space, I was often able to embrace the sweeter aspects of grief.
You can experience both deep pain and gratitude for the equally deep love you feel for whom and/or what you’re grieving. You can rejoice over the fact you are still able to feel at such an exquisite level. This is welcoming the grief in a hopeful way filled with love. In embracing the complexity of grief and leaning into the positive aspects grief cracks open, you can be simultaneously in a place of loss and love. Without both rain and sun, there is no rainbow; likewise, moving through your day with both smiles and tears can be just as beautiful and awe inspiring.
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