Besides a nine year gap, I’ve journaled from the age of ten to my current forty-seven. I had reasons for not doing it. During those years, I stopped because I was in relationship where I didn’t trust my writing would be sacrosanct. I doubted it would be for my eyes alone. Unfortunately this gap also represents years that held the highest highs and the lowest of lows.
Oh how I wish I had journals to look back on, to re-live some of those precious moments. I ache for the loss of a written record of who I was and what was going on through 95% of my daughter’s short life. I also wonder how differently I may have processed or dealt with her terminal illness if had I created a way to keep a personal journal personal.
If there’s a will there’s usually a way. What I see now is, a lack of privacy was my excuse to live an unexamined life. I feared what I would’ve unearthed and had to confront. I would’ve seen I’d given up significant parts of myself to curate my “ideal life”. I lived out the parts of me I felt fit within a specific picture I had, ignoring many of the problems and the wholeness of who I was.
Reasons for not Journaling Prompt
Do you hate journaling, or resist trying it? If so, I invite you to take just a few minutes to answer the following, (and you don’t have to write them down 😉 ) just ask yourself:
“The idea of journaling doesn’t appeal to me because…” The quick answers are typically something like “I don’t have the time”, “I’m not a good writer”, or “Someone may see it”. You can stay at that level, I did for years. If you want to go deeper keeping asking why? Why you don’t make the time, why you don’t think you’re a good writer, etc.
“If i did journal I would… “
“Journaling would result in…”