I’m back. Seems to be the way life works. I came in hot, ready for this new morning practice of writing for 30 minutes every week day morning. I was so committed I started on Friday morning instead of waiting for the new week.
A few short hours later I had a same day red eye flight booked to the mainland.
Monday morning came and I wasn’t in my own space. Nor was I on my own schedule, and there were so many questions surrounding what the next few days would look like. I’d made the last minute flight because my stepmother was in the hospital and not doing well. My Dad watching helpless wasn’t doing much better. I didn’t know how long I’d be there or how I could really help besides creating channels of communication for those who cared for my stepmother.
Writing went by the wayside as I made keeping present for my Dad the priority of the day. Next came the pressing work items screaming to get done by deadline. Did I think about writing? Yes. Did I feel guilty for sidelining it? No.
Now that I’m back here in the still darkness of the waking hour with nothing but coffee to distract me, do I wish I’d set this as a priority above the work ‘To Do’s’? Perhaps. Instead of scolding myself I am grateful. Grateful for coming back to this time, for recognizing what brings me the warm fuzzy feelings and fills my cup first thing in the morning, well besides a lot coffee. It isn’t the scrolling through the news of the day or my social media. It’s carving out time for me to get grounded in me.
Allowing for undistracted time to tap on the keyboard watching the words form on the page is both a grounding and freeing process. It gets me fully present in my body and my life – where I am in this moment. And it gives my creativity and imagination the wings to fly wherever they may feel the wind blowing.
What I love about this early morning writing I’ve committed to is the unstructured nature of it. I do plenty of writing and creating in my professional life and it brings me satisfaction and joy. But it doesn’t always provide the spaciousness for discovery. It is often meeting a specific goal or moving down a particular track. This morning musing is just for me. It grants me permission to follow wherever my mind and fingers go. This is where the magic often happens.
It is in these spacious thought times without agenda, goal, or pre-conceived ideas that I stumble upon the ‘aha’s’, the next big step, the outlandish yet possible. Sure, plenty of hard work, sometimes mundane tasks, and every day life stuff often follow to make reality in this 3D world what made its first appearance in the ethers of the free wheeling free write or musings.
Free time to write, to think, and to feel are oxygen to my soul and creativity. The more I honor myself, including my natural rhythms and inclinations, the more I understand who I’ve always been and the why. Understanding the why as part of the gift of who I am allows me to stop the fight against myself.