We as a society in general struggle with the topic of grief. People are fearful. Those who are grieving are afraid they will drive others away with their own grief, and those who want to be supportive are afraid they will say the wrong thing to those who are grieving. But telling your story is important. … Continue reading Telling Your Story
When someone significant in your life is no longer here to celebrate the holidays, it’s tempting to shove thoughts and preparations surrounding celebrations to the back, with perhaps the unspoken hope they’ll quietly slip away without your attention. Unfortunately, whether or not you ignore the holiday festivities, the feelings remain. Every year on my deceased … Continue reading Create a Seat for Memories, Feelings, and Honoring
When I knew loss wasn’t going to define me and I’d started asking the question what would define my life, it felt daunting. Not only was there pressure to fill a blank slate, but I also feared completely walking away from all that had brought me to this present place. I didn’t want to be … Continue reading Honoring the Past
Okay, here is where I start to get excited about grief. Yes, I said excited :). Over the last two weeks I’ve written about the first couple years after loss, the time I call The Haze and then a transition time which comes from a Light bulb Moment(s) and Sitting with Grief. Fully living in … Continue reading What Defines Me?
After grief’s sneak attack on New Year’s Eve I knew something needed to change. Grief and I weren’t completely done with each other, it wasn’t time to break up but we did need to redefine our roles. I gave it a seat next to me. From this new dynamic I saw grief didn’t define me. … Continue reading Sitting with Grief
So far most of my posts have encouraged delving deep into the pain and loss. I’ve outlined feelings the feels, avoiding the avoiding, and embracing the ugly cry. Doing those things often feel brutal and daunting, leaving you exhausted and spent. Grieving is hard and lonely work. It’s the type of work that goes unseen … Continue reading Be Gentle
Waking up one Saturday I had another one of those mornings of feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of my pain and tired of carrying around my story of loss. I knew emptying my kitchen of food wasn’t going to work, so this time I hopped in my car. My destination? Anywhere away from my loss, … Continue reading Embracing the Ugly Cry
Now about those times when you can feel the cry coming on, but circumstances won’t allow for it in the moment. I had a Be Right Back List (BRB). How does this work? I kept a list where I’d jot down just enough for me to remember what triggered the thought or feeling that’d come … Continue reading Create a Be Right Back List
Once you come to terms with your true emotions and feelings, holding them as valid, your job is to feel the feels. And hold on to your hats cause this is where the ride gets wild and sometimes scary, which makes it easy to avoid feeling. We tell ourselves we’re just putting it off for … Continue reading Avoid the Avoiding & Feel the Feels
Because I only vaguely saw the terrain I was traveling through during The Haze, it all looked the same. It felt the same too. Yet when the mist finally started burning off I could see I was no longer in the place I’d started. The hard work had made a difference!
What did that hard work look like? ...